Last year on the radio I heard a challenge to choose a word to be your theme for the year. After a month of thinking and praying about it I settled on the word hope. I tried to find a good definition of it. I tried to focus on what I was putting my hope in. I tend to feel hopeless, so I tried to spend the year countering those feelings with God's truth. Our pastor at family camp defined hope as not just having a desire for God to do something, but also expecting Him to do it. That rocked my world. I quickly realized I wasn't expecting God to really do great things in my life. Don't get me wrong. I know that he can. I just wasn't expecting Him to.
Boy did my life change when I started expecting Him to show up. I put my hope in that I would find some healing here on earth. He lead me to a new chiropractor that did some allergy testing. I eliminated some things from my diet, and started treatments for my allergies I didn't realize I had. I have overall felt much better. I still have pain, and some flares, but they don't seem as bad. I feel my mood has also improved from all the changes and treatments.
I put my hope in the fact that He would transform my discontented heart at church. I was happy, but something just felt off. He brought us into a new season being missionaries in our town. Now, we serve at Kaleo Community Church.
Now, it is a new year. That means I need a new word or theme for the year. After searching my heart I realize my focus needs to be on transforming. I want my heart, soul and mind transformed into more of Christ's likeness. I'm not happy being like I am. I know He wants more of me. I want Him to do like the song says, "consume from the inside out". God wants to transform us. I want all my insecurities transformed into faith in my heavenly Father.
There are so many things I truly want transformed. I want my quiet time transformed. I want my marriage to be transformed. I want my family transformed. I want my relationships with my family and friends transformed. I desire greatness! None of these relationships are bad. Please do not misunderstand. I don't want to settle for good, when God can transform these things to greatness!
So, I am coupling last year's theme with this year's. I have the desire, and I expect God to use this year to transform all aspects of my life.
What is your theme for 2012? What do you want God to do in your life? I would love to know what word is going to be your focus for the year.
Showing posts with label trust in God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust in God. Show all posts
Monday, January 9, 2012
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Living with Lupus
Two and a half years ago I was diagnosed with lupus. I can't believe that it has been that long. It is a hard disease to understand, hard to diagnose and hard to live with. For those who do not know what lupus is...it is an autoimmune disease of the connective tissues. It occurs mainly among middle-aged women, characterized by skin eruptions, joint pain, recurrent pleurisy, and kidney disease, among other symptoms. It is a disease that flares and has times of remission.
So you may be asking yourself what causes this disease. Well, they really don't know. They know that you can have genes that give you the predisposition to develop it. Usually something triggers it. For me it was having my first child. After having my daughter is when my symptoms started, although I did not realize it at the time. I was told by my OB-GYN that the symptoms that I was having was "just the way my body was". I was patted on my knee and told I was fine. After my pregnancy with Andrew is when it got extremely worse, and was later diagnosed. I thought that every mom was tired. By this time I had three kids to take care. Of course my body hurt, I was always toting something or someone. I had sores in my mouth because of stress...I have three kids. I have headaches because, you guessed it...I have three kids. They do make noise, you know. So, I went to my PCP for the ulcers in my mouth. He said it seemed like I had "some sort of autoimmune thing going on". Those were really his words! He sent me to a specialist who asked a bunch of questions, and asked me to tell him everything that bothers me, even if I don't think it is unique or important. He then decided that I probably have lupus. More blood work was done, I was put on medication. At first the meds really helped. I was able to walk up the stairs without having to nap afterwards. Most of the sores went away. What I thought was a heat rash didn't appear as often. He also told me of precautions to take to help myself not flare as bad. Those things are pretty much taking my meds on time twice a day, taking vitamins, staying out of the sun, and resting a lot.
So you may be asking yourself what causes this disease. Well, they really don't know. They know that you can have genes that give you the predisposition to develop it. Usually something triggers it. For me it was having my first child. After having my daughter is when my symptoms started, although I did not realize it at the time. I was told by my OB-GYN that the symptoms that I was having was "just the way my body was". I was patted on my knee and told I was fine. After my pregnancy with Andrew is when it got extremely worse, and was later diagnosed. I thought that every mom was tired. By this time I had three kids to take care. Of course my body hurt, I was always toting something or someone. I had sores in my mouth because of stress...I have three kids. I have headaches because, you guessed it...I have three kids. They do make noise, you know. So, I went to my PCP for the ulcers in my mouth. He said it seemed like I had "some sort of autoimmune thing going on". Those were really his words! He sent me to a specialist who asked a bunch of questions, and asked me to tell him everything that bothers me, even if I don't think it is unique or important. He then decided that I probably have lupus. More blood work was done, I was put on medication. At first the meds really helped. I was able to walk up the stairs without having to nap afterwards. Most of the sores went away. What I thought was a heat rash didn't appear as often. He also told me of precautions to take to help myself not flare as bad. Those things are pretty much taking my meds on time twice a day, taking vitamins, staying out of the sun, and resting a lot.
As for me right now, I am in constant pain, have constant sores in my mouth, am always tired, have a light molar rash on my face (can be covered by makeup), headaches, and am extremely sensitive to the sun and to heat. All that said, my lupus is controlled right now by medication. It is not getting worse, as in it is not attacking my liver or kidneys. I know I am blessed by that.
Lupus has no cure. They have medication that can help control its symptoms. They said mine was caught early, and so if I stay on my medication I should be able to avoid my organs being damaged by it. Let me restate this...I know that I am blessed. I could have a form of lupus that made it completely impossible for me to take care of my family. God gives me the strength I need. He understands my pain like no one else can. He catches each one of my tears (Psalm 56:8). He has a plan that is not to harm me, but to give me hope (Jer. 29:11). I hold true what the Psalmist said in chapter 147: He will heal my broken heart over this and bind up my wounds (v3), He is mighty in power (v5a), His understanding has no limits (v5b), He grants peace (v14).
Some days are harder than others. It seems that I am having more hard days since moving to Texas, and leaving my family and support group three hours away. I appreciate their prayers, and know that God is still God. He is God over lupus, and every other disease. He cares, and He will give me what I need, when I need it. I serve an awesome God. He is my Lord, and what I choose to put my hope and trust in.
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