Monday, April 16, 2012

Me? A Homeschooler?

As many of you know, I have started homeschooling our 13 year old daughter. I have to admit I am terrified! I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I am scared. What if I do this wrong, or that wrong? What if I don't get her enough socialization? What if I have a flare? How will I school her then? Am I choosing the right curriculum? Am I taking them on the right path? What about the co-op that I am choosing? Should I choose this one that is more social, or should I choose one that focuses on curriculum?

All I know is that I am called. God has blessed our family where I can stay home. He also knew what he was doing when he put me through the college path that he did. After college graduation I really never thought that I would use all those education classes besides helping my kids with homework on occasion. Now, however, I find myself using that information and textbooks that I kept. God does not make mistakes. I have realized that I really am the best person to teach my daughter, and possibly the boys as well.

So, God is transforming our lives. When I picked that word to be my theme for the year I was really thinking more about ministry and my heart. I was more praying for God to transform my heart to be more like His. I never thought that he would transform what my daily life looked like. With this transformation I am being forced to be more active. I am forced to look at my daily habits. I am having to relearn some things (which he might use later!).

I can already see transformation besides the physical differences in my life (like where I go and what I do with my time). I can see in my heart a transformation in my relationship with RaeAnne. My prayer is that our bond be strengthened. My philosophy is that all teenagers don't have to hate their parents and rebel. There can actually be a healthy relationship in which you actually like each other! I am praying that is the case with us.

So, needless to say, during this transformation we are going to need a lot of prayer. Here is what we need prayer for right now:

* Patience - This process is frustrating for both RaeAnne and I both. We need to give each other grace. It will take a while before we get a good routine down, and understand all we need to about the curriculum we are using. It will take time for her to get used to not having her friends surround her all the time.
* Attitude - Attitudes that are accepted in public schools from teachers (because they are coming from all the students) are not acceptable in our home. We are having issues with respect and attitude when I give assignments or try to explain a concept.
* Discernment - Right now the easy thing to do for next year seems to be doing the Texas Virtual Academy. It is free and accredited. However, I am finding myself wanting more freedom in my lesson planning. I also wish it had a more Biblical view. I would love to use Christian curriculum, but it is pricey and not always accredited. Pray that God shows me what path he wants us to take. Also, if he wants just RaeAnne to be home next year or also one or both boys.
* Gabriel - My time before was mainly with him. He could help me with chores, or we could be out running errands. We could do play dates any time we wished. He is having trouble with sharing mommy, and sissy not being able to play when he wants to. I don't just want to sit him in front of the t.v. every morning till lunch. Pray that I can find some creative ways to incorporate him into our routine.
* Health - I am completely drained by the end of the day. This is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting right now. I know that it will get easier, but I need your prayer on it. Pray also that my lupus stays in remission, and doesn't flare. Please pray that the pain and fatigue from the fibro clams down.

Thank you for your prayers, and even just taking the time to read this. I am not interested in hearing anything negative. I know there are those that don't agree with homeschooling. This started as a way to keep my daughter physically and emotionally safe. It is now turning into a way of life, and a passion for me. I welcome positive comments and encouragement. I believe what my friend Angela told me: that God will fill in all the gaps I miss. This is His plan for us. We are doing this because we are called.

What is God calling you to that you need to be obedient in? Take the step of faith now! There is nothing as sweet as being in His will.